Non-State Actress's Main Character Energy: Global Edition
A Weekly Round-Up of News You May Have Missed, April 24 - May 2
Welcome to Main Character Energy: Global Edition, a weekly series I’m trying out for all subscribers, featuring a few of the stories included in The Iceberg which goes out to only paid subscribers. Both are a work in progress as Non-State Actress begin to execute the long-planned expansion. My biggest concern? Sending you too many emails! Send me your thoughts, comments, hate mail, and questions?
BLUF
Resource battles shape regional politics everywhere: Pakistan's water wars, East Africa's oil pipeline chess match, and disputed reefs carrying trillions in global trade. Meanwhile, democracy takes a backseat as military leaders grab power, the US ghosts democracy programs faster than a bad Tinder date, and countries break up and make up in the diplomatic equivalent of cafeteria cool-kid politics. This week’s Main Characters? Norwegian athletes forced vegetarian in China. And the chief villains? North Korea and its missiles used to demolish Kyiv apartments. It isn’t all bad news, though. If you’re looking for some hope go look to Rwanda.
Press Play
Meat off the menu for Norwegians in China over doping fears
Oh honey, the Norwegians are having to go vegetarian in China, but not by choice. Olympiatoppen (yes, that's a real organization, not a luxury ice cream brand) has told their athletes to avoid all meat while competing in China because it might contain clenbuterol—a banned growth hormone that some Chinese farmers apparently love more than we love our morning coffee. The warning comes right before the 2025 World Athletics Relays in Guangzhou and Diamond League event in Shanghai, leaving Norwegian athletes scrambling for protein alternatives. Tofu, anyone?
Why It Matters: Look, this is actually about more than just hangry athletes. It's about how geopolitical drama and different countries' rules can mess with individual competitors who just want to, you know, compete. It's the kind of thing that makes you realize how food safety standards, anti-doping rules, and international relations are all tangled together like your earbuds at the bottom of your gym bag. Chinese officials have been defending their food standards for years while Western countries keep side-eyeing them skeptically. Classic.
Historic European Defense Treaty Revival:
So, Europe's having a vintage moment —but instead of rummaging through grandma's closet, they're dusting off a 70-year-old defense treaty. On April 3, Italian parliamentarian Mauro Del Barba introduced legislation to ratify the 1952 European Defence Community treaty, which France ghosted back in 1954 before it could take effect. The treaty would've created a European military with shared everything—budget, weapons, shopping lists—all working alongside NATO. What sparked this blast from the past? Russia's Ukraine invasion and Trump's comeback tour, of course. A recent study by former French defense minister Sylvie Goulard says Italy and France could actually make this Cold War relic legally binding after seven decades of collecting dust.
Why It Matters: For us Americans, this is potentially major relationship drama in our transatlantic situationship. Europe's essentially saying, "It's not you, it's me—I need more independence," while still wanting to partner on global security challenges. They're getting creative with their finances too, proposing EU guarantees that could unleash €200 billion in private defense cash without blowing up their credit cards (public debt). If this European military integration actually happens, it reshapes NATO and America's European defense role in ways that might bruise our ego but could lead to a healthier, more balanced partnership in the long run. Sometimes growing apart a little is necessary for growth, right?
Czech leaders condemn Russian threats against NHL great Dominik Hasek
The drama between Russia and hockey legend Dominik Hasek is giving serious "villain threatens hero" energy, and Czech officials are NOT having it. Former Russian president Dmitry Medvedev (now with Russia's Security Council) essentially sent Hasek a "watch your back" message after the Hall of Fame goaltender criticized Russia's Ukraine invasion and questioned Russian athletes in international sports. Medvedev's assistant warned Hasek to "be careful while crossing roads" and avoid "drinking beer in unverified places"—which is mafia-speak for "accidents happen." Czech Prime Minister Petr Fiala called the threats "absolutely unacceptable," which is diplomatic-speak for "back off our national hero." The beef ignited when Hasek criticized the NHL for letting Russian player Alex Ovechkin break Wayne Gretzky's goal-scoring record, and Medvedev responded by suggesting Hasek might, um, harm himself over it.
Why It Matters: This isn't just petty celebrity beef—it shows how the Russia-Ukraine conflict is seeping into everything, even sports. For Americans who love hockey (all twelve of you), this forces an uncomfortable conversation: does celebrating Russian athletes in American leagues inadvertently normalize Russia's actions in Ukraine? And when the Czech government has to step in to protect a sports icon, we're officially beyond "keeping politics out of sports" territory. The whole thing feels like high-stakes diplomatic chess, except the pieces are real people and the consequences aren't confined to a board.
Missile that Killed Eight in Russian Strike on Kyiv was North Korean, Kyiv Source Says
Well, this is horrifying. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy confirmed what we feared: North Korean missiles are now killing Ukrainian civilians. A North Korean KN-23 ballistic missile used in a Russian strike on Kyiv killed twelve people and demolished an apartment building on April 24. Ukrainian intelligence reports that North Korea has shipped Russia 148 of these missiles—which pack warheads up to one tonne, making them more destructive than Russia's own missiles. The attack, described as Kyiv's worst this year, actually prompted President Trump to publicly tell Putin to "STOP!" (yes, all-caps) while insisting peace talks were still on track. Sure, Jan.
Why It Matters: This isn't just another day in the endless war—it's a terrifying new chapter. North Korea's weapons are now directly responsible for European civilian deaths, confirming all those intelligence warnings about the Russia-North Korea military hookup that some people dismissed. It throws a massive wrench into the Trump administration's attempts to broker peace in Ukraine. Meanwhile, North Korea has reportedly earned $20 billion from supporting Russia's war effort despite sanctions (that's billion with a B). The ripple effects reach beyond Ukraine too—South Korea and Japan are watching their neighborhood bully test weapons in a real war zone and thinking, "That could be us next." It's like watching someone practice your murder across the street.
Myanmar's Dangerous Game: District 12 Rebellion
Oh girl, Myanmar's military junta is playing with fire—and not in a cute "learning to juggle torches" way. They've actually attacked Chinese Red Cross vehicles bringing aid to earthquake victims. Yes, you read that right. They're challenging their biggest international sugar daddy with the diplomatic equivalent of biting the hand that feeds them, then posting it on TikTok.
Why It Matters: This isn't just reckless—it screams either desperation or internal fracturing within Myanmar's military government. When authoritarian regimes start acting erratically, it's like watching your most unstable ex suddenly buying survival gear. The ripple effects touch everything from regional stability to refugee flows to humanitarian access. China's response will reveal shifting power dynamics across Southeast Asia that could affect everything from trade routes to aid distribution. Basically, when the bully starts punching their only friend, something very strange is happening behind the scenes.
Manila's Line in the Sand: Reef Sovereignty Showdown
The Philippines is saying "not today, Satan" to Chinese claims over a disputed South China Sea reef, cranking up the temperature on their already simmering territorial drama. This standoff isn't just about some underwater rocks and coral—it's geopolitical theater with consequences that go much deeper than the ocean floor.
Why It Matters: Here's the tea: The Philippines is a U.S. treaty ally, which means their beef with China over these reefs could potentially drag America into a confrontation with global implications that would make your family's Thanksgiving drama look like a preschool disagreement. These seemingly distant reef disputes involve shipping lanes that carry trillions in global trade annually—affecting everything from the price of your iPhone to those cute boots you've been eyeing online. It's actually more consequential to your everyday life than any reality TV reunion drama, regardless of how you feel about American interventions abroad. Sometimes the most important power struggles happen in places you're paying attention to because maybe the next Pope is from there.
Mali's Junta Leader Goita Recommended for Presidency with Five-Year Term Mali's national dialogue has decided to make junta leader Assimi Goita president for five years, which is a bit like naming your interim manager "permanent director" when everyone knows they seized the position in a hostile takeover. This recommendation would formalize military rule in a country that's had more coups since 2020 than most of us have had serious relationships.
Why It Matters: This is democracy erosion in real time, WOW and it signals a concerning trend across West Africa where military men with guns are increasingly deciding they make better leaders than people chosen through voting (shocking, I know). For Americans, this matters because Mali is crucial for regional stability, counter-terrorism efforts, and humanitarian work—all things we claim to care about. The power dynamics here have consequences for millions of real people, making Mali's political drama higher stakes than anything on premium cable.
Rwanda's Role in Regional Peacekeeping Operations
Rwanda is now playing crossing guard for Southern African troops moving from Congo to Tanzania, which says a lot about how much the regional security landscape has changed. This is the same Rwanda that, just 30 years ago, experienced one of history's most horrific genocides when nearly one million Tutsis were slaughtered by Hutu extremists. Talk about a glow-up: Rwanda now contributes more troops to the UN peacekeeping mission in the Central African Republic than any other country, providing nearly 20% of the forces. That's not just evolution—that's a whole metamorphosis.
Why It Matters: This isn't just about Rwanda flexing its peacekeeping muscles—it reveals the complex political chess game happening in Africa's Great Lakes region. For us Americans constantly doom-scrolling on our conflict-mineral-filled smartphones, Rwanda's new role affects stability in an area rich with the very minerals powering our devices and clean energy dreams. But the bigger story here? Rwanda's transformation from genocide ground zero to peace-promotion superstar in a single generation. It's the kind of redemption arc that reminds us that even after unimaginable darkness, rebuilding and healing aren't just fairy tales—they're possible with the right leadership and international support. I'm not crying, you're crying.
East Africa's Petroleum Corridor: Resource Games Begin
Tanzania and Uganda have officially shaken hands on security arrangements for their $5 billion oil pipeline project, launching East Africa's hot new energy corridor. This isn't just pipes and oil, friends—it's basically territorial control with a corporate logo slapped on it.
Why It Matters: This pipeline is the new battleground where China, Russia, and America are playing geopolitical musical chairs for influence. It's giving real "three exes showing up to the same wedding" energy. Whoever controls East Africa's energy plumbing affects global markets, regional development, and strategic positioning in ways that matter whether you're a policy wonk or someone who just wants affordable gas. This is one energy story that deserves your attention, even if your algorithm usually shields you from anything more complicated than celebrity breakups.
Taiwan-Somalia Diplomatic Dispute Intensifies
Somalia has slammed its doors shut on Taiwanese citizens in a growing tiff with Somaliland. Why? Because Taiwan, the plucky island that could, recognized Somaliland's claim to independence—and Somalia is NOT taking it well. When you're constantly fighting for your own right to exist (like Taiwan), you tend to sympathize with others in the same boat. It's the diplomatic equivalent of the cool kids recognizing each other across the cafeteria.
Why It Matters: This isn't just distant drama in far-flung places. It's another chess move in the never-ending China-Taiwan influence battle that affects everything from the phone in your hand to the shoes on your feet. American businesses and consumers might feel ripple effects as these tensions mess with trade relationships and supply chains in the Horn of Africa—a region that's strategically vital despite rarely making your news alerts. Sometimes the most important stories are happening where you're not looking.
Pakistan Pauses Controversial Canal Project Amid Rising Tensions
Pakistan's throwing its ambitious canal irrigation project into reverse, and the drama is juicier than a reality show finale. Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif announced they're pausing construction of new canals until a special committee can address everyone's concerns—which is politician-speak for "this project is now more radioactive than Chernobyl." The decision comes as protests erupt in Sindh province and—plot twist!—tensions with India reach boiling point over the decades-old Indus Waters Treaty.
Why It Matters: This isn't just about water—it's about survival. The controversial project, backed by Pakistan's military, aimed to transform desert lands into fertile farmland but sparked fears that the southern Sindh province would be left high and dry. Now with India threatening to hold their water-sharing treaty "in abeyance" (fancy talk for "we might cut you off"), Pakistan faces a double whammy that could devastate agriculture and energy production across the country. With 80% of Pakistan's farmland dependent on these rivers, this isn't just political theater—it's millions of livelihoods hanging in the balance. The situation has everyone from farmers to economists clutching their pearls and wondering if they should start stockpiling bottled water.
Steel Business Does Not Care About Your Twitter Beef
Brazilian steelmaker Gerdau is basically saying "drama? what drama?" to U.S.-Brazil political tensions and expects steel orders to keep rolling in like nothing happened. Their unbothered attitude suggests that money talks louder than political squabbles—shocking absolutely no one.
Why It Matters: This is your reminder that while politicians might be subtweeting each other on the global stage, businesses are still sliding into each other's DMs behind the scenes. It's like when your two friends are fighting but still show up to happy hour because the drink specials are too good to miss. These behind-the-curtain trade deals directly impact what you pay for everything from your car to your refrigerator, proving once again that capitalism finds a way.
US Pauses and Ends Democracy and Free Press Programs in Cuba, Venezuela, Nicaragua
The Trump administration is ghost-ghosting democracy promotion programs in Venezuela, Nicaragua, and Cuba faster than you can say "autocracy." The State Department has decided Cuba's democratic future is suddenly not in our "national interest"—a fascinating plot twist for anyone who's been paying attention to the last 60+ years of U.S. foreign policy. While a few programs like Cubanet's USAID grant and Cubalex's legal assistance have gotten the "We should still see other people" treatment and remain partially funded, most support has been cut off. Independent media outlets like Diario de Cuba and CubaNet—you know, the folks actually documenting human rights violations—are now passing the virtual hat for reader donations just to keep the lights on.
Why It Matters: This isn't just a budget line item change—it's America doing a complete 180 on decades of trying to nudge Cuba toward democracy. With opposition networks losing support, the Cuban regime can breathe easier while cracking down harder. And let's not pretend nature abhors a vacuum—China and Russia are already eyeing Latin America like it's the last avocado toast at brunch. While the State Department insists they're focusing on "core U.S. interests" and saving taxpayer dollars, the question remains: since when did supporting free press and democracy fall off America's core interest list? Not to be dramatic, but it feels like we're ghosting our own values.
Not New, Still Vibing Though
Arctic Race: Cold War Gets Literal!
The great northern freeze is melting, darlings, and global powers are racing to claim the prize! Russia's building military installations faster than ice cream melts in July, while teaming up with self-proclaimed "near Arctic" China to expand their frosty footprint. Moscow's gone chilly on sharing climate data with former friends, preferring Beijing's company for military exercises near Alaska instead.
This isn't just about resources – it's strategic! The Arctic remains "critical to Russia's nuclear posture" as the shortest missile path between superpowers. But the Russo-Chinese ice dance has hit thin patches, with Western sanctions freezing Chinese support for Russia's Arctic LNG project in January, exposing differences between China's multilateral approach and Russia's go-it-alone strategy.
Why it matters: Arctic shipping routes could revolutionize global trade, while underneath lie treasure troves of minerals essential for clean energy, with demand forecast to skyrocket 500% by mid-century. With NATO's Nordic expansion, the alliance gains Arctic expertise but needs a coordinated plan to address the growing polar party on America's northern doorstep!
Cable Capers: The Underwater Web Under Siege
Hold onto your internet, folks! Those undersea cables carrying 97% of global data traffic are becoming targets in a most peculiar underwater game of cat and mouse. Security experts report a surge in suspicious incidents described as "gray zone operations" – clever provocations designed to test Western responses while maintaining perfect deniability. The Pentagon isn't taking chances, launching a program to develop cable guardians. Naval engineers are requesting navigation systems for underwater drones that work "when Global Navigation Satellite System data is degraded or unavailable" – quite the technical puzzle! These aquatic robots are being tailored to protect "critical undersea infrastructure, like gas pipelines and fiber-optic cables."
Why it matters: A coordinated cable kerfuffle could instantly disrupt everything from stock trades to cat videos! The perfect underwater mischief requires surprisingly little equipment – just basic diving gear and knowledge of cable locations. America's digital dependency has never been so evident, darlings, as defense planners race to protect the physical backbone of our virtual world!