Non-State Actress's Main Character Energy
Featuring Lord Farquaad, Ursula, Scar, Gollum, Raymond Shaw, Veronica Sawyer, Oscar the Grouch, Elle Woods, Pedro Pascal, and Kermit the Frog
Welcome to Main Character Energy, a weekly series covering the people and stories eho are doing everything they can to exude more of a gravitational pull on the earth than the sun. This newsletter is free to all subscribers. Paid subscribers get at least 3x the Non-State Actress in their inbox, which means 3x the info and 3x the wit to be 3x more ahead of their friends, colleagues, high school nemeses and Bumble dates.
This Week’s Main Character Energy Scale
Lord Farquaad (Shrek): Lawful evil. Often ‘suffers’ from TMS (Tiny Man Syndrome), unaware of their…tininess, in it for themselves/the hell of it. Attempts to conquer lands and people. Follows the rules they make because…rules. Change the rules/partner with a dragon, conquer the evil. 0/10.
Ursula(The Little Mermaid): Neutral Evil. Also in it for themselves/power. Attempts to concur lands and people, undone by basic cooperation/vibes/better options/a little bravery. Often have flair, but for a ‘reason.’ Order or chaos, it makes no difference to them. Also 0/10.
Scar (The Lion King): Chaotic Evil. Completely unhinged, Often theatrical AF. Not worth attempting to reason with. Azkaban vibes. Also 0/10.
Gollum (The Lord of the Rings), Average North Korean Solider (Real Life): Does bad things almost all of the time, but often because of some additional/outside factor (like a cursed piece of jewelry or generations of propaganda resulting in complete unawareness of burritos. Still engages in war behavior. 2/10.
Inspector Javert (Les Miserables), Raymond Shaw (The Manchurian Candidate): Lawful neutral to the core. Follows the directions, whatever they may be. 4/10
Veronica Sawyer (Heathers), Oscar the Grouch (Sesame Street): The baddest in town, but in a good way. Mostly. Enjoys saying ‘SCRAM!’ Shows up for their truest friends. 7/10.
Elle Woods (Legally Blonde): Unexpected hero. ‘What, like it’s hard?’ 9/10.
Pedro Pascal (Real Life), Kermit the Frog (Muppet): The ultimate Girl’s Girl. 10/10.
Myanmar
Attempting Main Character Energy: Ta'ang National Liberation Army
Achieving Main Character Energy: Myanmar’s Military Junta Government
Myanmar's Ta'ang National Liberation Army (TNLA) and Kachin Independence Army (KIA) went at it in a big way on May 2, completely ignoring a ceasefire brokered by China in April. The fight broke out over territorial claims barely a month after the country’s military junta of a government fired on a Chinese Red Cross convoy bringing aid to earth quake victims because the group didn’t stop a checkpoint. This is objectively a weird thing to do to your wealthy and similarly anti-democratic benefactor, so one could suggest there’s increasingly weak evidence of China’s true influence over Myanmar’s various factions. TNLA kicked about 40 KIA soliders out of an office in Kutkai township; fighting spread to neighboring Nawnghkio with about 40 reported casualties. The news adds to the chaos in Myanmar following the military regimes withdrawal from various parts of the country, ceding territory to conflicting resistance groups. The military, whom you may remember from such hits as ‘Overthrowing the Government in the Background of a Zumba-esque Video,” continues to exploit those divisions. The result? A totally undermined Northern Alliance and anti-regime efforts, plus turmoil for China’s economic projects in the area. WOOF.
(Source: "Ethnic Armed Group Clashes Escalate in Northern Myanmar," Crisis Group, May 5, 2025; "China's Ceasefire Efforts Threatened by TNLA-KIA Fighting," The Irrawaddy, May 6, 2025)
Level of Achievement: Scar. Definitely.
Poland
Attempting Main Character Energy: Russia
Achieving Main Character Energy: Poland
Poland's National Electoral Commission Chairman Sylwester Marciniak called out Russia’s Internet Research Agency (read: troll farm) and Glavnoye Razvedyvatel'noye Upravleniye or GRU (Main Intelligence Directorate) for interfering in the upcoming election scheduled for June 15 via mis-, dis-, and malinformation campaigns, cyberattacks on electoral infrastructure and financial and operational support of extremist groups. It’s a wild choice given Poland’s impressive history of obliterating Soviet occupation and powerhouse leaders like Member of Parliament Aleksandra Uznańska-Wiśniewska, but it isn’t an a surprising one given Poland’s recent history of beating back rising authoritarianism, increasing military presence on its eastern flank, and vocal support of Ukraine’s sovereignty. Marciniak expelled three Russian diplomats from Poland as a result of Russia’s attempted electoral invasion, and NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte pledged cybersecurity support, deploying a rapid response team to Warsaw the next day. Putin’s desired result? I think not.
(Source: "Poland Exposes Russian Election Interference Campaign," Reuters, May 6, 2025; "NATO Deploys Cyber Defense Team to Poland," European Defense Review, May 7, 2025)
Level of Achievement: Lord Farquaad for Russia. Elle Woods for Poland.
Mali
Attempting Main Character Energy: Mali
Colonel Assimi Goïta, leader of Mali’s “transitional” government, suspended all political party activities in the name of ‘national security imperatives’ on May 4. This government is transitional in the way that my white sparkly Kurt Geiger sneakers transitional - I will wear them all year and to hell with those who try to take them from me. Prime Minister Choguel Kokalla Maïga called the decision necessary for ‘preserving Mali's sovereignty,’ and both men cited ‘terrorism and foreign interference’ as key motivators in the decision. This is more bad news bears, as Mali recently broke from ECOWAS (the regional organization of then-15 West African countries established in 1975) to create the Alliance of Sahel States alongside Niger and Burkina Faso. This is like when three members of the Neighborhood Association quit, start their own NA with rules that are directly counter to the original NA’s, and attempt to run over children on their bikes in the cul-de-sacs. What do these three nations have in common? All three are ruled by military juntas, all three’s militaries are being trained and equipped by Russia, and all three are in close collaboration with Russia, and the Russian mercenary group formally known as Wagner Group now called Africa Corps. And yes, I mean the same Russia that invaded Ukraine, a sovereign nation.
(Source: "Mali Junta Suspends Political Activities," Africa Confidential, May 5, 2025; "ECOWAS Threatens New Sanctions Against Mali," US News, May 6, 2025)
Level of Achievement: Unclear if Scar or Gollum.
Ecosystems Everywhere
Attempting Main Character Energy: Soundwaves
There is new hope for diamonds, not chemicals, to be the only ‘forever’ things on this earth. A new technique uses soundwaves to separate materials, particularly those used in fuel cells, to better enable recycling of ‘forever chemicals’ like PFAS (per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances). PFAS are a major environmental concern given the impacts their contamination has across ecosystems (and yes, that includes on people). Researchers from the University of Leicester dropped this track on May 6 - and honestly if this doesn’t give you hope, I recommend spending more time on Science Daily. Did you know people have identified TWO new speices of crocodiles and the T.Rex’s ancestor traveled from modern-day Asia to North America? Wild.
(Source: “Breakthrough in fuel cell recycling turns 'forever chemicals' into renewable resources: Scientists develop technique using soundwaves to separate materials in fuel cells in seconds,” University of Leicester via Science Daily, May 6, 2025)
Level of Achievement: Veronica Sawyer exclusively because she was a scientist…in her own way. And because I love soundwaves, but I recognize soundwaves are ultimately morally neutral.
The Man-o-sphere
Attempting Main Character Energy: Xi Jinping (China) and Vladimir Putin (Russia)
Xi Jinping (China) and Vladimir Putin (Russia), two men who have never won a democratic election in their lives but maintain they are the Leader their People Love the Most, signed a ‘strategic cooperation agreement’ on May 6 because they want to oppose “unilateral power politics,” 🙄. To be clear, it isn’t that they want to avoid power politics its just that they want to be in charge of those power politics. The bros committed to: expanded military cooperation (as if supplying weapons and training together wasn’t enough?), increasing trade targets to $300 billion a year in the next 5 years, and backing each other’s compulsive need to violently ignore the sovereignty of other nations (Ukraine, Taiwan) with threats of and actual invasion on the world diplomatic stage before ever ho…lding free, fair, and democratic elections. Which would of course be the sign of Western Influence. Honestly, if these two mediocre, aging men want to credit me as a 5’4 American-born and raised woman with 5’4 Chinese- and/or Russian- born women getting to vote for whomever their heart desires AND having their vote actually count…I’d be so flattered. But I don’t need a ‘Strategic Cooperation Agreement’ to tell you I’m holding out for Sviatlana Tsikhanouskaya (the leader of democratic Belarus) and look forward to continuing to annoy Putin, Xi, and all their little buddies in support of the women doing the real work. But anyway.
(Source: "China-Russia Comprehensive Strategic Agreement," Xinhua News Agency, May 6, 2025; "Moscow and Beijing Deepen Ties Amid Western Pressure," Fox News, May 6, 2025)
Level of Achievement: Lord Farquaad. TMS.
Enes Kanter Freedom
Attempted Main Character Energy: Enes Kanter Freedom
Former NBA player and human rights activist (like, nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize level legitimacy) Enes Kanter Freedom went all-in during a recent Fox News interview, outlining real and specific Chinese Communist Party influence operations against democracy and the United States1. He focused on Beijing's investments in critical U.S. infrastructure including regional power grids, telecommunications networks, and agricultural land near military installations. Before you go rolling your eyes at what appears to be another celebrity running your mouth, consider this: Kanter Freedom testified and shared documentation of coordination between Chinese state-affiliated organizations and U.S. academic institutions to "suppress critical discourse on Chinese human rights violations,” with the House Select Committee on the Chinese Communist Party and at a joint session of the House and Senate Committees on the subject (2023)2. Democrats and Republicans across the political spectrum all backed him up, stating it was inline with intelligence assessments of the Chinese Communist Party’s strategic aims. Considering we’re talking about a group of people who cannot collectively agree on whether or not the sky is blue, we should probably take his points pretty seriously.
(Source: "Former NBA Star Reveals China's U.S. Influence Network," Fox News, May 4, 2025; "Congress Investigates CCP Academic Influence," National Interest, May 6, 2025)
Level of Achievement: Pedro Pascal/Kermit. Homie is the Colin Kapernick of the NBA, having lost his career due to his advocacy. And yet, he goes on.
Belarus
Attempted Main Character Energy: Belarus
About 200 members of China’s Special Forces joined up with the Belarusian military near Minsk this week to train under the codename ‘Joint Shield 2025.’ What are they shielding themselves from, democracy? The democratically elected leader of Belarus? Sesame Street?
Anyway. Belarusian Defense Minister Viktor Khrenin says they covered counter-terrorism operations, hostage rescue scenarios, and urban combat tactics which feels a lot like asymmetric conflict (insurgents vs traditional military, also known as chaos muppets vs. order muppets). We know Belarus is super close to Russia - not just because of the name but because Belarus’ authoritarian leader Alexander Lukashenko is a Putin fanboy who will do almost anything to make Putin like him, but this news represents a new level of bromance between Belarus and China and China’s deepest engagement in Eastern Europe since basically forever. Belarus served as a backstage prep station for Russian troops on their way to illegally invade Ukraine, so this doesn’t give good vibes. And did we mention Belarus borders Poland, Latvia, and Lithuania…all NATO members?
(Source: "Chinese Military Units Deployed to Belarus for Joint Exercises," Foreign Policy, May 7, 2025; "NATO Monitors Unprecedented Chinese Military Activity in Eastern Europe," European Defense News, May 8, 2025)
Level of Achievement: Ursula, with the understanding the ‘reason’ is power.
Kashmir
Attempting Main Character Energy: India
Okay. If you haven’t heard about this it’s because you turned off news alerts on your smartphone which is probably not a bad idea. And if that’s the case, FYI there’s a new Pope and he’s from Chicago. We’ve covered some the recent India-Pakistan friction in Kashmir, but earlier this week India launched airstrikes into Pakistan and Pakistan-administered Kashmir in retaliation for the May 1 terrorist attack in India-administered Kashmir. The May 1 terrorist attack killed 24 tourists at a popular resort and tensions have been higher than Regina George and the Caltine bars incident since. India and Pakistan are both nuclear-armed nations and the relationship, while not great for a long time, hasn’t been this bad since 2019. Pakistan responded to Indias retaliation by shooting down two French-made Indian fighter jets with Pakistan's military spokesman Major General Ahmed Sharif warning of "appropriate response at a time and place of our choosing.” Secretary of State/National Security Advisor/USAID Administrator/Acting Archivist for the United States Marco Rubio called for a 'de-escalation of tensions,’ and sent Deputy Secretary of State Richard Grenell who appears to only have one job (insert In Living Color reference here) to try and help figure it out.
(Source: "India Conducts Airstrikes Against Terror Camps in Pakistan," Foreign Policy, May 7, 2025; "Pakistan Claims Downing Indian Jets After Cross-Border Strike," Reuters, May 7, 2025)
Level of Achievement: Secretary of State/National Security Advisor/USAID Administrator/Acting Archivist for the United States Marco Rubio achieves Raymond Shaw status without (?) really trying. India and Pakistan share Gollum, as they continue to struggle through an externally exposed ‘original sin’ which gave birth to at least. thousand other tragedies.
Useful Non-State Actress Pieces
Non-State Actress #18: NATO Is the Moisture Barrier for Democracy
Welcome to Non-State Actress written by me, Maggie Feldman-Piltch . Our last full issue talked about Elle Woods and Assassination Attempts. The one prior was a Special Addition, featuring my remarks from a NATO Public Forum kickoff breakfast. And before that we covered
Press Play
Freedom, born Enes Kanter to Turkish parents in Switzerland and raised largely in Turkey, is an outspoken critic of the current Turkish government. He’s so outspoken, his family has disowned him and Erodogen has not only issued an arrest warrant for him, but asked Interpol to snatch him up, begged the US to extradite him, and tried him in absentia sentencing him to four years in prison. Shout out to Erodogyn, our NATO ally! Anyway - Freedom is a dedicated and outspoken advocate for freedom around the world particularly focused on Ukraine, Tibet, Hong Kong, Turkey, Venezuela, and the plight of the Uyghurs.
https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/CHRG-118jhrg53486/pdf/CHRG-118jhrg53486.pdf
Maggie, this was well written. And Entertaining. and Useful. and you survive the substack purge, and advance to round 2, consideration for... paid :)
Seriously, what is the rubric you used to decide what was important? (The no more google news alerts is too close to reality...) Same time, Russia and China making nice... not actionable news for me, just ... well, panic, followed by it's not actionable. So I'm stuck, you are great writer, however, I don't have mental space for your stuff ... :)