Non-State Actress #9: Senate Holds Are Like Unsolicited Dick Pics and Both Are Bad for Democracy
Yeah. I know.
Review: I’ve been working on the upcoming Non-State Actress podcast. Our list issue looked at the form and function of some federal law enforcement agencies and matched them to the mid-century piece of furniture they most remind me of.
N.B: This next excerpt is more an attempt at a high-level chapter summary than any thing else. The longer version is the most complete chapter draft to date, and something I am enormously proud of. It’s the first chapter I’ve written that includes multiple more-than-passing references to specific examples from my own career, which I’ve struggled to do without being uncomfortable. I started writing it 7 months ago, focusing more broadly on in appropriate civmil behavior, and didn’t actually intend to share it online. Given Recent Events (and a lot of questions from friends), I figured why the hell not. I am exceedingly grateful to the many friends who have ‘workshopped’ this with me, particularly Rivka Beck, Dr. Emily Hoge, Chana Goldberg, Marcus Jackson, and Quinta Jurecic. I am also glad I wrote ‘Too Purple to Fail,’ which served as a reminder that being afraid of how ‘Serious People’ would respond to this argument is a waste of energy.
I ‘dedicate’ this summary (and this chapter tbh) to and her brilliant articulation of Thigh Men in You Never Forget Your First. By this point, she is either *really* tired of me or *really really* uncomfortable, but either way go buy her book/subscribe to her Substack /get hyped for whatever cool think she’s going to do at New America. Honestly, just give this woman your money and your time. You’ll learn something.
BLUF
More millennial and younger women are familiar with unsolicited dick pics than civil-military relations and Senate procedures. The former is a useful frame for making the later relevant and both teach us an awful lot about the health of our democracy.
Some who know an enormous about civil-military relations will likely be unhappy with this brief synopsis and feel I’ve not done enough to connect this sacred subject to the crude comparison. If you find yourself in this camp, I encourage you to subscribe and really read/listen to what I share before you make that decision. Maybe you’re right - maybe not.
Above all: remember I am writing to make the complicated and nuanced elements of national security and defense more relatable and relevant to women of specific generations and experiences.
I welcome your feedback, and also ask you to think about the fact that there are generations of women who need to spend more time talking about and dealing with men sending unsolicited penis pictures than they do listening to US news.
Press Play
Getting to Know the US Military
Civilian control of the military is one of, if not the most, sacred requirements of a democracy; the opposite is of course a military that controls or can act independently of a government led by the representatives of the people.
Preserving the separation and constitutionally required dynamic between the entities is much more complicated than “the military can’t do whatever it wants,” largely because the US military’s mission is pretty varied.
The military is very much not The Main Character of America, but it’s job is still essential. But what IS the job of the US military? That, my friends, is a whole other chapter (and is honestly like several books), but let’s get a foundation.
In addition to fighting wars, serving as a deterrent (because most of the time one country isn’t going to try to invade another country if it knows it will lose), the US military is one of the most effective supply, storage, and distribution lines in the world. I mean this in a literal, factual sense.
The US military brings food, water, medicine, and medical care, and much more to locations all over the world where people need help:
The military also responds to natural and environmental disasters at home as the National Guard. “Throughout [2022], 142,000 Guard members responded to wildfires across 19 states, 18,000 to floods across eight states, 12,000 to winter storms across 19 states, 1,700 to tornadoes and 1,000 to severe weather and volcanic activity (National Guard Bureau).”
Also! US Army Corps of Engineers is one of the largest water supply agencies in the whole country.
So in addition to all of that, AND being the world’s most elite fighting force, the US military is an incredible feat of education, training, and professionalization.
Countries from all over the world come to learn with and from US military members and institutions – in fact sometimes I get to teach Dungeons and Dragons (yes, that DND) to partner militaries as a way of building teamwork, creative problem solving, and cross-cultural engagement. It’s super fun and pays dividends in real time. Unfortunately, my own DND party does not seem to think the practice is making *me* any better.
Be More Pacific…I Mean Specific1
While we may not all be following the ongoing violent Russian invasion of Ukraine and Ukraine’s heroic, continuous efforts to defend itself, it’s something most of us have heard about. And that makes it a super useful example to talk about the role of the US military (you can also learn more about what is happening in Ukraine from
).
I want to be VERY clear that I am not saying that the US military is involved in combat in Ukraine.I also want to be very clear that there is no indication something like that is going to happen. You can see a list of everything the US has committed to Ukraine as of 7 July 2023 by clicking here.
While hardware and ammo matter when fighting a war, there is ultimately nothing more important than human beings. All the equipment in the world cannot help you if you don’t have anyone to operate or maintain it - or do so accurately.
One of the crucial differences between the Russian military and the Ukrainian military is the existence and capabilities of Ukrainian non-commissioned officers, or NCOs. In 1993, Ukraine joined the National Guard’s State Partnership Program2, training and partnering with the California National Guard with whom they are still partnered. Following a 1995 exercise at Fort Polk along US forces and other post-Soviet republics, the Ukrainian’s realized the Soviet model was, well, really bad. So they focused on learning NATO tactics but kept to an officer-centric command and control model, which is what it’s called when you have to ask your CEO for permission to send an email.
And then Russia invaded and illegally took over Crimea in 2014.
Ukraine realized they needed NCOs. Commissioned Officers set an objective, like ‘secure the parameter,’ or, in Regular Life ‘market our frozen-first beef snack to millennials.’ NCOs, like social media managers, make it happen.
NCOs are the leaders on the ground, in the vehicle, making decisions in the moment as conditions change. Without NCOs, you have people somewhere else making decisions about a situation they aren’t directly involved in. The information is incomplete - the vibes are off!
Fast forward to today and what Putin thought would be “real fast,” is 500 + days long. The Ukrainian military has been able to respond and keep morale up because of its NCO corps whereas the Russian military’s lack of NCOs has resulted in battle plans completely divorced from reality, troops not having the materials and skills they need to press on, and general ineffectiveness.
Who modeled, trains, and continues to support Ukrainian NCOs?
The United States, of course.
Describing Things Unseen
The military can be super cool. The military also has uniforms which makes them much easier to see. Despite the proliferation of Ann Taylor and Banana Republic pants, the civilian government does not actually have a uniform, adding to the very long list of reasons why it is easier to explain than its military.
The military can and must do things that the civilian government cannot, and America absolutely needs the military, but the military is not equal to the civilian government and that is tough not-quite balance to strike let alone describe.
Let’s try anyway -
You could say that the military is more important to America than Kanye West’s participation is to the perfection of Janelle Monae’s music.
You could maybe say that the military is Posh Spice – style, flair, real skills, enormous vibes, so much star power… while the civilian government is Scary Spice – the powerhouse foundation.
But this is an important topic and I think we need to pull out one of the most millennial references ever:
The civilian government is the mitochondrion – the powerhouse of every cell that makes up America.
The military is one of those cells. The mitochondria convert food into energy for cells to use, creates new cells, is a crucial part of cell turn over, and is a big part of determining the role and function of each cell.
As this 168-page chart does a terrible job of showing to anyone who is not an absolute nerd, there are clear military leadership structures…and also clear civilian leadership structures. And a lot of other structures. What’s often less clear but maybe even more important is how they relate to each other.
[Crunchwrap] Supreme Command
There are thousands of brilliant people whose life work is make sense of these charts not just on paper but in real life within a framework we call The Unequal Dialogue. The term was coined by a guy named Eliot Cohen in his book Supreme Command. It’s not a bad read, but I don’t feel like getting into it right now, tbh.
In all my years of learning and living in national security, this is one of the most useful and descriptive summaries of the dynamics of civilian government and military forces in the United States. Which is sad, because it is not super functional for ‘non-experts.’
And as these examples show, all of the visual representations are really terrible if the goal is to explain it to people who don’t spend all day thinking about the defense budget!
The Crunchwrap Supreme features one thing inside another, just like civil-military relations, though. The Unequal Dialogue recognizes and embraces the role of the military and its leaders, particularly their expertise, while holding the ultimate, unshakable decision-making authority with the civilians. And while I’ve never eaten a crunchwrap supreme or anything from Taco Bell because I value my life, I am sure that the item includes one foodesque idea enwrapped in another.
The Unequal Dialogue leaves 0 room for the military to behave differently because of the exacting nature of the dynamic - the separation is rock solid. If it isn’t the whole thing falls apart/gets soggy, gross, and not what you ordered.
Functional Examples, Please
You can see The Unequal Dialogue IRL in lots of places. Some that are helpful in this context:
-The military services are not their own banks. The National Defense Authorization Act, also known as the NDAA, is the legislation that funds the Department of Defense. It has to be written and approved by Congress and then signed by the President.
-The military services are not their own bosses. While there is a Service Chief for each branch of the military, their selection and confirmation requires presidential and senatorial approval (we’ll come back to this) AND they are outranked by a presidentially appointed, senate-confirmed civilian Service Secretary.
-The military services are not the sole determiner of who is eligible for military service. The racial and gender integration of the military services and the roles within those services is the result of civilian government. The services fought tooth and nail (and in some cases continues to do so!) against it, but once the decision was made – it didn’t matter. Was it popular? No. But law and law.
Equally as important is the apolitical nature and role of the military.
-It’s all about the Constitution. While the President may be the Commander in Chief, the military pledges its allegiance to the United States Constitution and not an individual, political party, or anything else. This is not a hot take, it is a factual take.
-Outfits matter. Members of the military cannot appear at political events, including campaign events, in their military uniform or any way insinuate their participation and support is representative of US military participation and support of a candidate, policy, or person. And no one should be wearing the uniform to participate in or observe a peaceful protest, so don’t even ask them to. BIG ick.
-Promotions have a process, no exceptions. Finally, members of the military can only be promoted via specific, relatively rigid internal processes and criteria. A political, elected or appointed, leader cannot simply ‘make’ someone a General or any other rank because they feel like it. This is basically what it means to have a professional military3 and not just a bunch of people with weapons doing whatever they want which is what you call treason.
Summarizing the Relationship
The civ-mil relationship has been honestly kind of toxic in the last few years, like more toxic than weaponizing therapy talk but not as toxic sharing a bunch of screenshots of private conversations. Has it been worse in recent years than previously? I could go either way…
We’ve had a bunch of not-so-recently-retired senior military leaders be nominated and confirmed to serve as Secretary of Defense, which is a bit like turning 30 and asking the person you dated in college to plan your life for the next 10 years. No further description needed, right?
Processes Makes (Almost) Perfect
As mentioned, there is a formal, multi-step process by which people in the military are promoted and it becomes more intricate as the promotions become more senior. First, there is an elaborate internal to military services by which a person is selected as promotable and, assuming that promotion is approved, assigned their new rank-appropriate role. Once the slate is finalized by the leadership of the specific military service, it is sent to the President for their approval. All the approved submissions are then sent to the Senate. For the most senior roles, the Senate then holds a confirmation hearing during which each Senator can meet privately, semi-privately, and ultimately interview the person publicly at a confirmation hearing.
After the hearing, the confirmation then goes to a vote…or it should.
Each member of the Senate has the power to hold up confirmation or a bill by delaying a vote. While this isn’t uncommon when it comes to votes on individuals *footnote on diplomats*, it’s pretty unheard of for a single Senator to put a blanket hold on all confirmations and promotions and to keep it there for a long time. Doing something like this is literally holding the government hostage because you, a single individual, think you are right and 99 other elected officials are wrong and you would rather grind essential functions and capabilities to a halt AND embarrass yourself and America on the world stage instead of compromise or engage meaningfully.
Think of it this way - Just like HR in regular life, not giving a new employee a start date doesn’t mean that their predecessor is staying…it just means that you’re not going to have anyone there to do the job until the new person starts. We’ve seen enough Reels about quiet quitting to know how gross this is, so now imagine during it when the new persons job is to *checks notes* run the United States Marine Corps.
There are times when having a few people’s start date delayed can be annoying but the team can still function. Now imagine this happening for hundreds maybe even thousands of people at once.
Absolute chaos.
Now imagine this chaos isn’t in crypto-land or Big Shoe Company, it’s the United States military.
Not really a place you want chaos.
Not So Fast
Given all the emphasis I’ve put on civilian control of the military, it would be completely legitimate to think “This is the right of a Senator!”
Your heart is in the right place my friend, but you are very wrong. And I am happy to show you why!
First, the process we outlined for military promotion gives lots of opportunities to raise your issue and find a resolution. Deciding that you, and you alone, are going to hold up the process - every confirmation and promotion until everyone else agrees with you is not an example of you working for resolution.
Second, we as individuals and as a country do not exist in a vacuum. Just like we all watched Sandoval, the world is watching us and such behavior is more embarrassing than my style in 7th grade.
Third, the Senate is a wildly imperfect body which is appropriate considering the United States is a wildly imperfect country. It may only have 100 voting members (two from each State with no representation from territories and districts like Guam, Puerto Rico, and Washington, D.C) but there is a whole lot of diversity within those 100 people. If you find yourself out there ‘taking a stand’ alone and Members of your own political party are telling you to sit down…you’re not Mr. Smith going to Washington, you’re an asshole.
Fourth, the ‘alone’ and ‘blanket’ part of this scenario are honestly what make it really important. Think back to the role of civilian government, the mitochondrion of America. It’s job is to assign roles and responsibilities, give the resources to fulfill those roles and responsibilities, and keep things running smoothly.
This is big country with lots of needs. A single Senator behaving getting cranky and holding it all up this way is like a 93 year old banker approving each and every social media interaction of each and every employee at the meat-centric frozen food brand they are a major investor in.
Can they? Sure.
Should they? Probably not…
Where Is the Clickbait!
At this point, if you’re not wondering how on earth we’re going to take a tongue in cheek comparison of inappropriate behavior and turn it into a pointed and well-argued analysis of the health of democratic institutions, national security processes and civil-military relations, then I have not done my job.
I promised an explanation of unsolicited dick pics and democracy, and it is time to fulfill that promise. With that, I offer to two following claims:
1. Holding up every single military promotion and confirmation is as uncalled for as sending unsolicited dick pics– bizarre, and 100% of the time completely unnecessary.
2. How frequently these shenanigans occur and how institutions and society responds to both abuses of relative power tells us a whole lot about the health and safety of its democracy.
Please allow me to explain, starting with claim 1.
Again, let us start with the predicating actions – solo blanket holds and sending unsolicited dick pics. Both are absurd and unnecessary abuses of power historically taken by men who think they are sharing their unrivaled greatness but are in reality… not.
Instead, they’re really just standing in a room with their pants down.
- You think because of the position you find yourself in – Senator, or in possession of a device that takes pictures and the information required to send that image to someone else - you are entitled if not required to indulge even your most absurd, immature, inappropriate whims. If you weren’t, why on earth would you be in the position you’re in?
- So you do it, and it causes totally unnecessary chaos, avoidable discomfort, and unneeded bullshit. Is this the greatness you achieved? I’m not sure about your family dynamics, but what I think greatness I think ‘Something I would proudly tell my youngest siblings and parents about. So by my standards, this misses the mark.
Wrap It Up
All Senators cannot be held responsible for the behavior or one. But as peers they play an important role in norm setting and enforcement. The same can (and often is) be said of men more broadly4. Obstructionist stunts that undermine necessary government functionality, and what the State of California clearly recognizes as Cyber Flashing thanks to in part to Bumble5, both cannot be tolerated or regular occurrences in a democracy for so many reasons. The State of Virginia, the United Kingdom, and others have done the same.
For now I’ll say:
Democracy is based on equal rights and equal participation. One person, one vote. People who behave in the ways we’ve discussed believe they are entitled to do so. That for some reason, the power to act a certain way not only gives them the authority but the RIGHT – and even when 99 other people disagree, their opinion once voice – or vote – can overrule all others. It’s ‘I do what I want,’ but isn’t funny.
Said more simply, their vote on its own is worth more than those of their peers, which is inherently anti-democratic.
I know not everyone will find this section useful or ‘appropriate,’ and that is okay. I am not writing for everyone. As I said at the top:
Some who know an enormous about civil-military relations will likely be unhappy with this brief synopsis and feel I’ve not done enough to connect this sacred subject to the crude comparison. If you find yourself in this camp, I encourage you to subscribe and really read/listen to what I share before you make that decision. Buy or read my book when it comes out. Above all: remember I am writing to make the deeply nuanced elements of national security and defense more relatable and relevant to women of specific generations and experiences.
I welcome your feedback, and also ask you to think about the fact that there are generations of women who need to spend more time talking about and dealing with men sending unsolicited penis pictures than they do listening to US news.
I have not even begun to address the frequency and response to unsolicited dick pics as a metric for how women are treated in a society, and the correlation between the health, wealth, and power of women and the health, wealth, and stability of the society they live in.I haven’t skipped it because it isn’t important – in fact I haven’t actually skipped it at all.
I’m writing a book, remember6?
Of the many things required in a healthy democracy, there are three that stand out right now:
-Healthy dynamic between the government and civilian-controlled military
-Functional government institutions that know how to problem solve and move on
-Gender equity.
A healthy democracy is not a place where there are no ramifications a single individual who puts blankets hold on military personnel and readiness procedures and is unwilling to find common ground but is instead looking to make a political point.
Just like a healthy democracy is not a place where people can use technology to engage in behaviors that if they occurred in the physical world would be labeled a sex crime.
A healthy democracy is a place where neither of these things occur regularly, and in the rare moments that they do , people are empowered to speak up and those perpetrating the actions are held accountable.
Gimme More
I’m getting better at putting links *in* the post, but here is the list plus a few I didn’t get to. As always, doing my best to link to official sources that offer facts.
‘Study, Marry, Kill’ and You Never Forget Your First ’s Words from UkraineSteak-ummm’s Twitter Feed: Glorious.
National Guard 2022 Statistics
All About the State Partnership Program
NCOs in Ukraine, Part 1
NCOs in Ukraine, Part 2
US Congressional Research Service Report on Ukrainian Military Performance and Outlook
Official Public Accounting of US Security Assistance to Ukraine as of July 7 2023
A 168-page Department of Defense Organizational Chart
If you’re interested in civil-military relations, I strongly recommend going to the Google Machine and typing in Kori Schake. She is brilliant AND is an exceptional teacher.
Council on Foreign Relations Women's Power Index
Some more thoughts on the Unequal Dialogue
Sorry, this title is me trying to be funny about the constant call for the US military, and US government as a whole, to be more focused on the Asia-Pacific region :).
https://www.defense.gov/News/News-Stories/Article/Article/3313982/ncos-key-to-ukrainian-military-successes-against-russia/
Professional militaries have training, specific roles, and are regulated.
#NotAllMen 🫠
I was able to contribute a formal letter in support of Bumble’s campaign to criminalize cyber flashing thanks to then-VP for Policy Lisa Roman. It was so rewarding to have my “expertise” in unsolicited dick pics be used for good, and is something I talk more about in the chapter.
Right now the most supportive thing you can do for Non-State Actress the book is become a paid subscriber to this Substack, and encourage others to do the same.